yesterday, i was sitting on the porch with my dad, listening to my ipod, just watching the ocean.
i discovered that i have this tendency to hum with my music; almost subconsciously, but then not, because i noticed and almost apologized to my dad, because he was reading. anyways, it reminded me of a time when i was in fourth grade i believe and my brothers and i had some friends over and we were all just playing, having a good time. and then i decided to go get my CD player because i had this erg to listen to my new CD. so i get it, and i start playing the music, and then i start singing at the top of my lungs, and my mom looks and me and gets angry and says sarah stop singing and im like...why? and she said to me, no one here wants to listen to you sing what the rest of us cant hear. still, i didnt understand, so i kept singing. quietly, of course. but at the time, i didnt understand that i was the only one who could hear the music.
maybe thats the way that i live my live. singing for myself. i dont think about what other people can or cannot hear. its always been for my benefit. isnt my voice good enough for everyone else?