I can't believe it's that time again...

so, school is starting on monday, four days from now. i cannot tell you how much i am not ready. bleeeehhhhh. i still have to read an entire book. no bueno. but ill finish, i always do. haha. anyways.
today something aweful happend. will and natalie lost thier twin babies. i cannot even fathom the pain they must be feeling. i prayed to God for a miracle; that he would let those babies live. but, they didnt. i dont blame God, but i dont understand his ways, either. those babies were going to have a life. they were going to grow up and fall in love and have babies of thier own. they never got a chance. i dont understand. i cried for them. it's all i can do right now. i know im the last person will and natalie would want to hear from. well, im sure not the last. but there is nothing i could do for them.
yesterday, i was supposed to go to a dynamo with my parents and one of my favorite people in the world, chris laveau. but he flaked out, and i couldnt find anyone else to go, and simone invited me to her bible study, so i ended up doing that instead. im kind of glad i did though, despite the fact that i missed out on hanging with micah and jon, who are also some of my favorite people. geeze. anyways, simones church... there is such great fellowship there. everyone knows and loves eachother, and are there for genuine reasons, contrary to the reason people come to my church. it just seemed so much more personal last night. like God was there.
ive spent this entire week watching fuse, and nothing else. music video after music video. some of them suck and some of them rock and ive really enjoyed it. i love music. i really really would love to learn to play the piano and be something like sarah berellis(spelling error). i just think it would be so cool. i dont have any skill, anyway. except i can bake. and i tought myself how to long board! yeah that was so cool. i fell and broke my spine and cut my hand. no, i didnt really brake my spine, but it hurts. geeze.
oh, back to simones church. the kid that spoke last night, andrew, talked about the song "blessed be your name". and he talked about how he found it hard to sing that song because he finds it hard to thank God for things when life gets tought. and honestly, i had never really paid attention to the lyrics. i know all of the words, but never grasped thier meaning. once i realized that half the song was thanking God for the good times and the other half was thanking him for the bad times, i could only sing half. i havent gotten to the point in my relationship with christ where i am thankful for everything, the good and bad. so that is something i need to work on.
so, little do my parents now, but my father will when he reads this, but i used to cuss, like all the time. like hard core. and i knew i did. it wasnt like some subconscience thing, i chose to do it. i think somtimes it was to impress people, and then the rest of the time, i just liked the way it sounded coming out of my mouth, intertwined with the rest of my words. but something happend, this summer, i dont know what, but it just stopped. this week i realized it. i said to halley, i havent cussed in a long time, and she was like, i know. im proud. i realize it just sounds trashy. i mean, ill still call my brother a bitch and stuff, but thats just because thats what we do.
speaking of chris, he moved out of the house, and into an apartment with joshua steele. i asked him if we were ever going to hang out, and he was like duhhhh im going to pick you up from school every friday, and i really hope he means it. because i love my broski and i need him around. other wise, i will be two brothers less.
well, thats all for now.
so long, hombre.